I heard Linda Sue Park (Author of A Single Shard) speak at the last Summer SCBWI conference and recall how she talked about how she deals with criticism from her editor:
(The following is a paraphrase from memory):
Park’s Editor: There isn’t enough of a character arc in your story.
Linda Sue Park: [Hesitation] Okay.
Park’s Editor: Also, I don’t see any reason for [side character] to be in the story at all.
Linda Sue Park: [Gritting her teeth] Okay.
Park’s Editor: In fact, the entire third act needs restructuring.
Linda Sue Park: [Gritted teeth & fists clenched] Okay!
Why do writers (myself definitely included) get so defensive when someone points out flaws in our writing? I think it’s because it feels like the editor is pointing out flaws within ourselves. Writing feels personal even though it isn’t. I’m sure there are plenty of people wanting to argue that what we choose to write is a reflection of what we care about, or that we write down what is in our consciousness and therefore it is also a part of ourselves. But that kind of thinking is really tortuous when you start the editing process. Imagine editing like surgery: how hard would it be to take a knife and pull out your appendix, even if you knew that it would save your life?
Writing is what we do; it’s not what we are. That distinction is important when we’re editing, and even more when we’re submitting our work. The editor and agents who give criticism or say no to a project aren’t rejecting us, they’re rejecting our work. I still feel a bit of trepidation every time I send work out, and I still feel a bit defensive when I get criticism, but like Linda Sue Park I grit my teeth, and say “Okay.” Then, later, I take the critique and look at it with a writer’s eye and see how I can make my novel better.
1 hour ago